Now this may sound disgusting an' like very gross But it's sure to have your trippin' So y'all listen close It's not bright as the sun or sweet like sugar But it's rather on the bug tip and it's called Pickin' Boogers Now what I'm emceein' might not seem kosher to you But it's still somethin' we all have to do So go up your nose with a finger or two And pull out one or a crusty crew Yo, don't try to front like it's so gloomy and gray 'Cause we all pick our boogers sometime every day Whether out in the open or on a sneak tip With a finger, tissue, or even a Q-Tip Take it from the Biz Markie because I'm jokin' And also, remember this slogan "Hey, ma, what's for dinner? Go up your nose and pick yourself a winner" Pickin' Boogers Pickin' Boogers Let me tell you what happened on the train, man I was coolin' one say with my partner Kane Headed up to the rooftop, ridin' the D train When the man sittin' next to me was so profane He'd stick his finger up his nose, then do a drain (You should 'a moved) I was just about, but al of a suddern, homeboy just pulled out A big, green, slimey - naw, I'm not even gonna say it But it weighed a good pound if you tried to weigh it He sat there for a while with it in his hand So I tried to play cool like a normal man So I laid my head back to catch a quick nap All of a sudden he plucked it dead in my lap Now Kane sat there laughin' like it was all a joke But a brother like Biz Markie had almost choked So I dug up my nose and pulled out about five And plucked every last one of them dead in his eye Then the man jumped up and said what's wrong with you And wiped 'em off his face and said I can't mess with you Like if I did somethin' that was so full of shame But yo, you got to know the name of the game Pickin' Boogers Pickin' Boogers Now let me take you trippin' dow memory lane Back in public school with my partner Kane When I was class clown and he was my brotherr Sittin' at the desk, pluckin' boogers at each other Never do our work as we were supposed 'Cause we was too busy diggin' up our nose And in the lunch room, we would talk about rude God forbid the person that had to leave his food No matter who you are, we didn't give a damn We even put teachers down with the program Whether it was a woman or if you're a man We put boogers in our fingers then shake your hand Catch anyone from anywhere But the best part about it's catchin' Kane out there Especially we're out playin' ball in the gym I put boogers on the basketball and pass it to him Now we're grown up and things have changed But we still be playin' the Pickin' Boogers game Just last night when Kane was gettin' ready I slippped a litte green one inside his spaghetti Pickin' Boogers Pickin' Boogers Let me tell you what happened with this girl One night at Latin Quarters, I was standin' at ease And saw a gorgeous yound lady that I wanted to skeeze I didn't show enough that I really did want it So, no half-steppin', I pushed up on it Pulled out the gold cable and a knot that was fat Had a spotlight beamin' on my Biz Markie hat But when she stepped in the light and she got real close I saw a teeny-weenie booger on the tip of her nose She was dressed real def and her body was hook But that dried-up boogeer just ruined the look I wanted to tell her about it but I couldn't be bold So I played it off and said, "That's a cute green mole" I was hopin' from that she wuld wipe it away But she didn't do nothin', I guess she wanted it displayed I said, "Before you get my number I don't mean to dis you but write it in your hand because you're gonna need the tissue"
